Monday, December 29, 2008

books on tape [cd]

I've done a lot of driving lately. And I'm about to do about 12-14 hours more in 3 days to see my lovely sister while she's home from China. (run-on and I started with a conjunction...sue me.) I must admit, I have to bite my tongue quite often when I complain about below-freezing temperatures in Tennessee, considering Megan loves days that are above zero degrees. brr.

However, in order to pass my time in the car, I've resorted to books on tape [cd]. Sadly, I didn't think of this idea until I was about to head back to Nashville on Sunday afternoon, which meant that the library wasn't open and my only option was Cracker Barrel's book/exchange deal. Let us all take a moment to remember the typical patron of your local Cracker Barrel. Needless to say, I didn't recognize the names of any of the books or authors. I'm not too well-read (<--harassment freebie) in the romance/mystery genre. I did find an A Series of Unfortunate Events book, which I am enjoying quite thoroughly, Tim Curry narration and all. And never fear, if he uses a word or phrase that is particularly tricky or obscure, he'll fill you right in with the meaning.

That's right: educational and fun.















(can we also admire how nicely this book matches my blog?)

Saturday, December 20, 2008

merry pre-christmas!

So this past Tuesday, Rachel and I braved the sketchy neighborhood of Third & Lindsley for a little concert with Brett Dennen and Meiko. Both were great. Meiko is slightly crazy and Brett Dennen is precious. Seriously.

Tonight is the big Dave Ramsey Christmas party hoopla. I'm way excited.


Also, a tacky sweater Merry Christmas from the Live Events team:


(ps. I can't claim the design; it was one of my coworkers.)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

and....

my new favorite movie:

Thursday, December 11, 2008

step into my office.


This is my desk.

Print in the background; web in the foreground.

video (and Jes)


Obviously, our office was designed by men (who love IKEA).



We had a creatives Christmas tree decorating contest. This is the print graphics Christmas tree. Made out of chicken wire, pvc pipe, tissue paper, and cartoons of the entire company. Just like high school float-building all over again!
We better win!

me!
If you want to make your own cartoon, go here.

video tree. it played christmas movies.

web tree.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Leslye,

You may love the snow, but here in Nashville, we get this:









eww.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Bravo, Tina Fey...

...you've altered reality for an entire generation.

Last night I watched Baby Mama with a group of friends, including a 4-year-old girl named Hollis. About 10 minutes into the movie, as Tina Fey walks across the screen, Hollis yells out: "It's Sarah Palin!"

Monday, December 01, 2008

let's go backwards

This past week or so:

Tonight I watched The Visitor. I was decently excited about watching it: I thought it looked at least slightly interesting. At any rate, the cover reminded me a ton of one of Tim's photos from our Spain fine art exhibit. All that to say: it was depressing and gave me a healthy fear of loneliness...whatever that means.


For lunch today, I ate at Buca di Beppo to celebrate a year-spent-with-the-company anniversary for one of my bosses, and it reminded me of some good (and equally cold) KC COAST trips.

I went home for Thanksgiving, which was fun. Got to spend some quality time with the fam and got one nice hastings visit in. Also, decided that I hate driving (and drivers) and hereby plan to live somewhere in the future where I don't have to be involved with either.


Last Weekend:

(I shamelessly stole this from the internet, but it's totally worth it.)

So this past weekend I took full advantage of the Nashville. That's right, count them--4 concerts, and a brief visit to a tattoo parlor, which was by far my favorite Nashville experience to date.

Friday night I went with one of my roommates and her friend to see Hey Penny (lovely video here.) It was absolutely frigid, so we stopped for some coffee at Cafe Coco, which never has seating, which meant that we sat in the 'live music area' and had to endure some middle-aged rock band. After we couldn't stand it any more, we headed down the street to the show, which still hadn't started. We hopped into a tattoo place across the street so one of the girls I was with could ask a question about fixing a tattoo. This resulted in a 30-minute conversation with the self-proclaimed "desk boy," which started with him taking off his shirt to show us that "you shouldn't be ashamed of your tattoos" and ended up involving many wonderful quotes which I will now post with absolutely no context:

"I lived off the grid in a tent in the Catskill Mountains."
(Off the grid?)
"You know---you flip a switch and the lights come on, turn the facet, water comes out."
(So where do you live now?)
"Oh, just up the street. I'm metropolis now, but I might go back to the forest."
"I was adopted when I was 15 by this nun in the midwest, so I know all about that."
"I'm what you call a professional go-for. I can go for cleaning supplies, hold babies, or you know, whatever."
"I'm all about sharing and giving. That's what I do. I've had houses and cars. I just gave them away."
"I don't do technology. No radio, no tv, none of that sh--. Well, actually someone just gave me a tv, so I turned it on its face and put a plant on it and plugged the cord into the dirt."
"You're like 10 for 10. I like to play devil's advocate and you're doing great. I'm about to fall platonically in lust with you."

After dragging ourselves away from Bryan-with-a-'y', we went to the concert, listened to stephaniesid, then decided we didn't want to wait around until 1am to hear the actual band we came to see, and left.

Saturday, my church had a concert/showcase/potluck type thing with about 15 or so musicians from the church, which was really cool.

Sunday, I decided to establish my independence and went to see Iron & Wine by myself at the Ryman because 1] I love Iron & Wine and 2] going to my first concert at the Ryman was way overdue. I still think I like going with other people, but it wasn't terrible. The concert itself was great, aside from the drunk, middle-aged, post-Titans game woman behind me and the pda couple in front of me. Sam Bean was sick, so he was greeted after every song with "drink your tea!", "I'm sorry your guitars keep going out of tune!" and the occasional "I love your beard!" from the audience.


If you made it that far, you deserve a treat...
that's right---the new Harry Potter trailer.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

No, it wasn't icy.

I am under the belief that blogs are no fun unless you take the opportunity to make seriously self-deprecating posts. Like the following:

I somehow managed to completely wipe out on the way inside my house tonight. It was dark, I was holding a purse, some books, newspapers, mail, a giant tupperware container and my keys, then apparently my shoes and the sidewalk decided to have a disagreement. I was about a foot away from the (concrete) porch, tripped, hit my knee on one stair, dropped all my stuff and tried to catch myself on the next, did the customary try-to-save-yourself with the wrist, and slammed my chin right onto the top step. Then I laid there and felt sorry for myself for about a minute before I decided that being cold and being outside at night was worse than the pain, so I hobbled inside and surveyed the damage. My jaw now pops, my wrist doesn't work, and my knee is raw, purple and about twice it's normal size, but other than that, I'm A-okay! (which is great news, considering I'm uninsured until January.)

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Peter Jenkins

So, every Wednesday at my office, we have speakers come in for what are basically devotionals. This week our speaker was Peter Jenkins, author of A Walk Across America, which is basically the Into the Wild of the 1970-80s. I remember reading it years ago in junior high or something after scouring my parents' bookshelves for summer reading. (because I'm a nerd)

On Wednesday, Jenkins shared some stories from the beginning of his trip, including how he arrived at the decision to begin what ended up being a 5-year walk across America. Most of his talk revolved around stories from that trip, but eventually he focused on fear--the fear he faced as a recent college grad from Connecticut beginning a journey straight into the South, where every pick-up driver was a cast member from Deliverance. How he ended up living in an all-black community for 5 months, and what it felt like to be a minority for the first time in his life.

Jenkins was fresh from Woodstock and had the mindset that America was completely screwed up. Which is what I think a lot of us think. We're part of a generation that's been given everything and desperately wants to give something back. But our generation sees what some of the leaders before us have done, how they've corrupted societies, how they've destroyed the environment, and we get the impression that it will take some massive force or some political savior to change the world. Jenkins set out to prove himself wrong--to see if America really was beyond hope. I wonder if sometimes we only see America and the world in a big picture sense, and forget about the people who actually live in it. That it's not a government that makes a country, but the people.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Stuff Christians Like

Today, I heard this guy speak at work. He was great. He had a lot of good things to say, but he was also one of the funniest speakers we've had so far. Most of you are probably familiar with stuffwhitepeoplelike, and this is in much the same vein--except it's about Christians. (if you grew up in church or went to a Christian college, there's definitely some stuff you'll relate to.)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

am I a terrible person if...

I don't vote? I know it's a rejection of the democratic process, etc. But, I'm not a huge Obama fan; sure, he's charismatic and I'd rather listen to him than someone else for the next 4 years, but I don't really agree with all of his platform. Now McCain--I just don't like McCain. At all.

The funny thing is, I'm completely ready to vote. I'm registered in Tennessee; I even looked up the locations of the early voting places, then realized that I don't even know who to vote for.

So do I vote for someone I like but don't agree with, do I vote for someone I despise, or do I throw my vote away on third party candidates that I don't know anything about?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Thursday, October 16, 2008

welcome to to world of carpooling

It's wonderful. Given, I have to get up and leave my house a little earlier, but it makes up for it in gas and general commuting enjoyment. Melissa (my marketing assistant and music star coworker) and I trust in the good graces of the church we park at that they won't tow us, and make the trip down to Franklin every day. Okay, so it's only day 3 or so, but we're loving it.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

i'm ready for december.

i swear...if John McCain says "pork barrel" or "cronies" one more time...

Sunday, October 05, 2008

obligitory star-sighting blog post

For people who live in Nashville, there's always the somewhat shameful game of who has the best star-sighting. Someone in the crowd always mentions Ben Folds or Alison Krauss (I've yet to hear Jack White, but I feel like he's someone that wouldn't get out much.) As far as this game is concerned, I've hit the jackpot. Nicole Kidman + hubby not once, but twice. First time: summer of 2006 at a Tommy Emmanuel concert; second time: last night in a movie theatre lobby. That's right, 3 feet away.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

I'm in the market for a banjo

I think there should be a book Netflix. Like Netboox or something. (okay, maybe not the cleverest of names.) I did find this. But it costs 10 bucks a month. Mine would be FREE. because the library is free, no? The only day I have to go to the library is on Saturdays, and the library in my neighborhood is just plain sad. They have about 15 computers and about two shelves of books. Sad. Who wants to market this with me?

Last night, my roommate and I spent some quality time on Craigslist laughing at the missed connections and looking for cheap banjos. After much searching, we decided that this was the winner: the manjo.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

sawdust and senators

This week I've begun a unhealthy addiction to new-to-me albums of The Killers. I haven't listened to them since Hot Fuss, but Sam's Town and Sawdust have been my best friends this week.

I work here, for the LiveEvents part of the company. We're in most ways a financial company, so needless to say, this past week has been a little crazy (thanks to the current financial state of the country). From what I understand about economics, which is not much, but steadily increasing the longer I'm at Dave Ramsey, this bailout plan is going to screw up the country. Way to go, US! I'm so ready for the weekend.

Monday, September 29, 2008

i am an old, old woman

I was going to write a real blog tonight, but I looked at the clock (which currently reads 10:14 pm CST) and realized it's 14 minutes past my bedtime.

so.....future blogs to look forward to (if i ever get around to writing them):

human cycles (involving wars, anthropology and various things I read in a book by a rabbi)
my thoughts on 'My Name is Asher Lev'
coming to terms with whether i'm living in a high-crime area of nashville to be trendy or not
my job and baby steps 1234567
what post-grad aloneness looks like and how it's so much better than college aloneness

Saturday, September 27, 2008

move over devendra.

The avett brothers have stolen my music-loving heart.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I have a stack of ten books to read for work. Literally.

I like to think that I have a commuter friend. This morning I sat at a stoplight waiting to get on 65-S next to a guy who was on a bike and wearing a striped tank top. Tonight, as I rushed from work to my Financial Peace class, I drove next to the same guy, wearing the same tank top, riding away from downtown on Gallatin. Maybe we'll be friends. Who never actually meet.

Friday, August 29, 2008

naturally,

McCain picked a woman.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

it's time to bring out the death cab

Does anyone else have seasonal music associations?

For example, today was pre-autumn-ish, misty, cloudy, etc. Which meant that I suddenly got Death Cab's Plans stuck in my head and I had to listen to them all day. Kings of Leon, also good in autumn. Feist, Andrew Bird: only in the summer. Ryan Adams' Love is Hell, Snow Patrol, Jimmy Eat World's Futures: winter. Radiohead: usually winter as well. This doesn't really work with all of my music, but those for sure.
Apparently I don't like music in spring.

(After I wrote "misty" at the top, I had the urge to follow it up with "may." The Olympics have taken over my brain.)

Monday, August 18, 2008

ABBA

I went and saw Mamma Mia! with my mom, some friends, their mom, and all of our moms' friends. They loved it. I just think Pierce Brosnan should probably never be allowed to sing.

some thoughts on time travel...or not.

Occasionally I get introspective. Just occasionally. Anyhow, I was thinking about what it would be like if we could go back in our lives and edit and tweak things. There's about two years of my life that I debate about. If I could go back, would I be friends with different people, spend more time doing different things, (take less hours)? In some senses, looking back, my life would be a lot easier. Even now--as the result of those decisions. But here's the catch: if we could go back, if I could go back and delete and change and alter situations, would I be happy? I'm not talking about a reincarnation of "the butterfly effect"...we all know how that ended up. However, maybe it's the stuff that we learn to adapt around, and the things that we laugh about and regret and worry and grieve over that make us understand ourselves better. That make us--not necessarily immediately happy--but content. Because I think contentment is not so much about complacence, but about grace. Having grace towards others, and most importantly, towards ourselves.

I've been reading this book by Salman Rushdie called The Ground Beneath Her Feet,* and in one part the main character was talking about how people in love only hear what they want to hear. He says something to the extent of: "love beats earplugs any day," which in context was humorous, but in reality is probably rather true. There's this point in friendship and relationship where no matter what our friends may say, we will still be in denial that anything is amiss. We can nod our heads all day in agreement, and say, "yes, you're so right, i do need to...etc.", but deep down we ignore every word. I've thought about that, wondering how true that is in my life (which, if you know me well, i'm sure you know the answer to, but I'd like to think it has also been true for most people). I've come to the conclusion that maybe it's okay. Perhaps sometimes it's okay to believe the best in a person or a friendship. (obviously, there are unhealthy situations...) But I wonder how our attitudes and interactions would change if we suddenly tried our best to ignore each others' faults. I'm sure we would all walk all over each other, but maybe we would learn a little more about what it is to love each other unconditionally. And maybe we would become emotional wrecks and annoy our friends ad nauseam.



*i'm not entirely sure that i recommend this book...i'm only about halfway through. we'll see...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Friday, August 01, 2008

too ambitious?

So I have embarked on the journey of mobile-making. Not an original idea, (or design, by the way,) but I had to start somewhere. Let's just say it's a little harder than it looks. Right now I have three fabric birds precariously attached to tree limbs, which are more or less attached to each other with fishing line. None of it balances and my hands hurt.

Also, I watched Into the Wild tonight. I've been loving the soundtrack for a couple of months now, and I was glad to actually get around to watching it.

I also just noticed that I didn't make a single post in July. hmm

Monday, June 30, 2008

"Jesus for President"

This is an interesting article about Shane Claiborne's new book, how he's been traveling around America in his veggie-oil powered van talking about politics, and how young evangelicals are the new swing vote.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

oh, mr. rochester

Today, an honest-to-goodness chimney sweep came and cleaned our chimney, complete with a grisly, graying five o'clock shadow, and a top hat. (or as close as one could possibly find as far as top hats go.) His name was Larry and he was quite the conversationalist.

Tonight was night two in my continuing trend of hanging out with complete strangers. On Monday night I attended a classic rsvl. local show with my friend Liz. She knew everyone. I knew about one other person. There were some amazing acts. One guy did a "Genie in a Bottle" cover. Another guy went into one of those long, drawn-out stories where he claimed he sent in some songs to recording studios, didn't copyright them, then started hearing them on the radio a year or so later. This was shortly followed by a medley of all the songs the recording studios ripped off of him. If you're curious as to which songs they stole, some of them included "Ice Ice Baby" and TLC's "Scrubs." However, this guy wasn't too terrible. Other than that, it was about the most awkward thing I've done all year. Unless you count tonight, where i played that game (where you pass around the beeping thing and try to guess the words...i can't remember what it's called) for about 3 hours with people I had never met before.

In other news, I'm completely unable to resist my traditional summer reading habits. I started out with good intentions, just reading stuff on my list and not revisiting old favorites. But I finally gave in and started rereading Jane Eyre for about the 50th time. I can't help it. I mean, Slaughterhouse-Five was great, but sometimes I just need old friends. I'm holding off on Harry Potter, though. At least until I've finished something remotely ambitious.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

old stuff

I just found these pictures from fall break, but they're slightly summerlike, so...





Wednesday, June 11, 2008

genius
























Sometimes i get cravings to do lots of DIY projects....like making lamps and ridiculously cool stuffed animals, and reupholstering furniture. Anyone else?

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

"our neighborhood is the bermuda triangle"

My dad refers to our yard as the bermuda triangle now. Thanks to Arkansas's newfound love of extremely windy weather, with storms that make all of the pine trees in our yard lean over at 45 degree angles, we got another visit from our best friends Ed and Barbara, who take away all of our fallen trees and cut down the ones leaning on our power lines. My poor dad. Between our house and our neighbor's, I think we've lost over 30 trees since January. I am now an expert brush-hauler.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

happy birthday, molly!

in honor of my dear roomie, whose birthday is today:
the one and only arlo guthrie.

also, i want a rabbit.

so...

I used one of those zero-turning-radius lawn mowers today.

I thought I was going to die.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

forgiveness

Last Sunday in our College class we talked about forgiveness. I’m pretty sure I’ve sat through countless Bible studies on forgiveness, but for some reason, this time I felt like it was something I needed to hear. I used to think I was a forgiving person. Probably because I was easy-going enough to let people walk all over me if it would be more convenient to avoid conflict. And if someone actually did do something to hurt me, I would just tell them it wasn’t that big of a deal. I would let people get away with things that would hurt me. Then at some point in my life, I stopped letting that happen as much, at least with people in my life that I truly cared about. Instead, I’d stew, tell my best friend(s) about whatever had happened that I felt so wronged about, and if the grudge ate its way through enough, I’d finally confront whatever the issue was until I felt resolved about the whole thing. But, this isn’t very healthy either. Because, let’s be honest, I’m not always really healthy, and definitely not always perfect. And usually the confrontations ended up being overly analyzed or overly emotional and were probably more detrimental to the friendships than anything else.

So I sat through the hour or so that we talked about forgiveness and evaluated what I’ve been doing to myself and others over the past few years. And I wasn’t too impressed. We talked about how to move past the abstract “love everyone just like Jesus would” answers to how to actually deal with real people and situations. For example, do you continue being friends with and interacting with someone who repeatedly hurts you? But you see, that’s where I get all confused. Because it’s still abstract, and it’s still situational. Are they hurting you on purpose, or unintentionally? Could what you perceive as an injury be something that may actually help you, or even heal you?

Because what I want out of my life is healing. Not just healing for some specific thing that happened to me, or some conflict that I want resolved, but habitual healing. I’m trying to discover what that looks like. Maybe that looks like keeping my mouth shut instead of telling every interested party what I’m upset about except for the one person I need to talk to. Maybe that means just lettings things slide and having lower expectations from time to time. Maybe it means letting some friendships go and trying harder at others. It’s time for a fresh start.

{ps: I applied for a graphic design position with NFIB last night. Small business political lobbying, here i come! ehh...kind of.}

Monday, April 21, 2008

nothing taqueria can't fix...

As a general rule, my blogging skills suck. Journaling? yeah, I tried that, too. Maybe I'll steal a phrase from my friend Joshua and begin a chronicle. Sadly, I think my life is a bit too boring for that to really work.

Senior Portfolio show was this past Friday. It went okay I guess. However, it is surreal that it's over and I don't have to worry about it anymore. ("it" refers to the actual show, not to my portfolio which still needs lots of work.)

So someone at lunch today asked me what my life plan was. I replied that I don't really have a 5-year plan or anything, but a 2-week plan? yep. I definitely have one of those. Let's just say that it involves 3 papers, an illustration project I still haven't finished, graduating, and trying not to be an emotional wreck in the meantime. I don't really have any intentions of going to grad school in the future, so it's really nice being able to count on one hand the amount of classes I have to go to...for the rest of my life. So, I might not have a plan for what I want to do post-graduation, but I think I've decided how I want to do things and who I want to be, and I think that's what matters anyhow.

And since my dear digital darkroom prof loves his photos highly (read overly) edited, I think this is what I'm turning in for my final. My concept was...eh..something about forbidden fruit? sure.


Thursday, March 27, 2008

Weird Fishes/Arpeggi

some fish i scanned in today from watercolor last semester:
















thanks to chris for this article by andrew bird.

I'm trying to decide what to do for my digital darkroom final project. We're supposed to come up with a concept to set up, shoot, and edit. This could either just be retouching on an image, or else something more unique, going for a specific style, like montage or photo compiling.

such as: erik almas (i think this one is maybe 4 or 5 images originally)












I like Graham Seidman as well:

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Spring Break '08

so far:

X blotchy tan/sunburn
X dancing
X thrift storing
X cutting edge, legends of the fall, the wedding date, atonement
X prison break, scrubs, dancing with the stars, the new british bachelor
X The Memory Keeper's Daughter. I feel medium about this book...
X Lake Jackson, Galveston, Quintana, Surfside, Kemah, TX

design work? nope.
apple-bottom jeans? too much.
really terrible tv? yep.

Monday, March 10, 2008

impossibly long, i know...


but really, who doesn't want to read something by this guy?
















Duino Elegies
The First Elegy

Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the angels'
hierarchies? and even if one of them pressed me
suddenly against his heart: I would be consumed
in that overwhelming existence. For beauty is nothing
but the beginning of terror, which we still are just able to endure,
and we are so awed because it serenely disdains
to annihilate us. Every angel is terrifying.
And so I hold myself back and swallow the call-note
of my dark sobbing. Ah, whom can we ever turn to
in our need? Not angels, not humans,
and already the knowing animals are aware
that we are not really at home in
our interpreted world. Perhaps there remains for us
some tree on a hillside, which every day we can take
into our vision; there remains for us yesterday's street
and the loyalty of a habit so much at ease
when it stayed with us that it moved in and never left.
Oh and night: there is night, when a wind full of infinite space
gnaws at our faces. Whom would it not remain for--that longed-after,
mildly disillusioning presence, which the solitary heart
so painfully meets. Is it any less difficult for lovers?
But they keep on using each other to hide their own fate.
Don't you know yet? Fling the emptiness out of your arms
into the spaces we breathe; perhaps the birds
will feel the expanded air with more passionate flying.

Yes-the springtime needed you. Often a star
was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you
out of the distant past, or as you walked
under an open window, a violin
yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission.
But could you accomplish it? Weren't you always
distracted by expectation, as if every event
announced a beloved? (Where can you find a place
to keep her, with all the huge strange thoughts inside you
going and coming and often staying all night.)
But when you feel longing, sing of women in love;
for their famous passion is still not immortal. Sing
of women abandoned and desolate (you envy them, almost)
who could love so much more purely than those who were gratified.
Begin again and again the never-attainable praising;
remember: the hero lives on; even his downfall was
merely a pretext for achieving his final birth.
But Nature, spent and exhausted, takes lovers back
into herself, as if there were not enough strength
to create them a second time. Have you imagined
Gaspara Stampa intensely enough so that any girl
deserted by her beloved might be inspired
by that fierce example of soaring, objectless love
and might say to herself, "Perhaps I can be like her"?
Shouldn't this most ancient of sufferings finally grow
more fruitful for us? Isn't it time that we lovingly
freed ourselves from the beloved and, quivering, endured:
as the arrow endures the bowstring's tension, so that
gathered in the snap of release it can be more than
itself. For there is no place where we can remain.

Voices. Voices. Listen, my heart, as only
saints have listened: until the gigantic call lifted them
off the ground; yet they kept on, impossibly,
kneeling and didn't notice at all:
so complete was their listening. Not that you could endure
God's voice--far from it. But listen to the voice of the wind
and the ceaseless message that forms itself out of silence.
It is murmuring toward you now from those who died young.
Didn't their fate, whenever you stepped into a church
in Naples or Rome, quietly come to address you?
Or high up, some eulogy entrusted you with a mission,
as, last year, on the plaque in Santa Maria Formosa.
What they want of me is that I gently remove the appearance
of injustice about their death--which at times
slightly hinders their souls from proceeding onward.

Of course, it is strange to inhabit the earth no longer,
to give up customs one barely had time to learn
not to see roses and other promising Things
in terms of a human future; no longer to be
what one was in infinitely anxious hands' to leave
even one's own first name behind, forgetting it
as easily as a child abandons a broken toy.
Strange to no longer desire one's desires. Strange
to see meanings that clung together once, floating away
in every direction. And being dead is hard work
and full of retrieval before one can gradually feel
a trace of eternity. --Though the living are wrong to believe
in the too-sharp distinctions which they themselves have created.
Angels (they say) don't know whether it is the living
they are moving among, or the dead. The eternal torrent
whirls all ages along in it, through both realms
forever, and their voices are drowned our in its thunderous roar.

In the end, those who were carried off early no longer need us:
they are weaned from earth's sorrows and joys, as gently as children
outgrow the soft breasts of their mothers. But we, who do need
such great mysteries, we for whom grief is so often
the source of our spirit's growth--: could we exist without them?
Is the legend meaningless that tells how, in the lament for Linus,
the daring first notes of song pierced through the barren numbness;
and then in the startled space which a youth as lovely as a god
had suddenly left forever, the Void felt for the first time
that harmony which now enraptures and comforts and helps us?

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Monday, March 03, 2008

perks, cahiers, and ghostbusters

I have never read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, but I have always wanted to. I'm sure it'll make it on my list once I've graduated and have time to read for pleasure. While making yet another to-do list on my stickies, I ran across a quote I liked that I stole from someone that actually did read it:

"we accept the love we think we deserve."

I want to think about that a little more I think, but for some reason it resonates with me. Why is it that we are so much more willing to accept love from people when we know them or think they owe it to us, than from people who we haven't quite gotten comfortable with yet. Or even the people that we know. There's this level of trust that has to be there--mutual understanding and companionship.


On another note, I am trying to figure out what to do with my self-promos for portfolio class. They're due tomorrow, I'm blogging instead of working, and what I want to do I can't get done by tomorrow. I'm going to use Moleskine cahiers (nice fancy french word for notebook) in some form, I just keep getting new ideas and I can't decide whether to order black or the cardboard-brownish ones. I need to figure out if screen printing on black with a color would actually look good or not. Either that, or I might use cut-outs or stickers. I don't know....

I watched Be Kind, Rewind this weekend while I was up in KC for the AIGA Portfolio Review. I wasn't really sure I wanted to see it, but it was so funny. It's by the guy who directed The Science of Sleep and Eternal Sunshine, except it has Jack Black and is definitely more of a comedy than either of those. Any movie that references Ghostbusters is always a good idea.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Back from the dead...

After a two year hiatus, I finally got around to reactivating my old Hotmail account in order to change to my gmail name and reactivate my blogspot. What a mess. It's time to be professional, and dear xanga just doesn't quite cut it anymore. Don't get me wrong, xanga's been good to me. Four or five years of drama, pointless posts, and photo uploading before the days of facebook albums. Needless to say, all you xangans have a dear spot in my heart and I won't abandon you quite yet, it's just time to move on. Kind of like how Dashboard was great in high school, but now it's only good to sing loudly in cars and make fun of.